Part 3:
#3 Excuse: “I don’t need to learn all that, I’ll just hire an expert. I don’t cut my own hair, I hire a professional.”

My argument: If your hair stylist screws up your color, it will fade. If she cuts your hair wrong, it will grow back. The downside consequences are, at worst, 6 months if your hair grows slowly. Run the same scenario for any expert, and the long term consequences are nothing compared to what will happen if you hire the wrong financial expert.

If the expert you hire to manage your investments screws up, it could mean practicing “Hi, Welcome to Walmart” at the age of 70 for a job interview in competition with spritely 50 and 60 year olds.

To quote Warren Buffett, “You don’t find out who’s swimming naked until the tide goes out.” And I would add, if you’re swimming naked as a fit 20 or 30 year old – bring it on. There’s really nothing embarrassing about that. At 40 and 50, you could still turn a few heads in a good way, but odds are good it will take some discipline in the diet and exercise category. If you’re in the “golden” years and gravity has worked it’s “magic” – well, odds are good you’ll have had to be a serious diet and fitness fanatic and gone under the knife at least twice at the plastic surgeon’s office for most women to endure “baring all” with confidence.

Never assume money managers, brokers and financial advisors have your best interest at heart. Their business is to make money off managing your money. The catch is, they get paid whether they make you a profit or not. You will hear all of them recite the mantra “Past performance is no guarantee of future returns”. You lose, they get paid. You win, they get paid. They have a bias to buy and hold.

There is power in knowledge. You will be a better investor and a better client if you are well informed. There are some great money managers who realize this, and are more than willing to help and educate. And then there are the horror stories. Some of my friends have asked their financial advisors for help in gaining a better understanding with really dismal results. You must know enough to know if they are doing a good job. Wall Street is in business to sell stuff to you at a profit. It’s called capitalism, and as broken and amalgamated with socialism as it has become, there is still a profit motive. You need to know enough about the rules of the game to even have a hope of playing it successfully.

Money Manager Arrogance

My dear friend and step-mother-in-law (don’t try to figure it all out, you know the drill with divorce and families) works for a company offering a 401k with a matching program. This means that if she decides to take a part of her paycheck and set it aside in a savings plan for retirement, her company will add a little extra as an incentive. It requires the company to take that amount out of her paycheck directly and send it to a “qualified plan”. This means it meets all the IRS rules to allow her to delay paying income taxes on this money, and allows her company to add to the savings plan on her behalf.

Enough jargon, she met with the company financial advisor who grilled her about how much money she had, did her husband have any money, and when he decided it wasn’t enough to worry about, shoved a brochure at her and told her to pick a fund, any fund. He opened a chart depicting the stock market over the last 90 years and told her it always goes up – just buy and hold. Well, my step mom doesn’t have 90 years until retirement. She had no way to respond. No vocabulary, and felt absolutely violated. She got up and left the office, got to her car and broke into tears. She was then able to bring the paperwork to me, and relayed the story with tears welling up in her eyes a week later. I was horrified and wanted to call this idiot right there and then. I calmed myself, and we took an hour to talk it through, get a plan, and help her come to the right decision for her. Why should it matter if it was only a small amount. It matters. You have to start somewhere.

This isn’t an isolated case. Not by a long shot. I have a ton of them, and will trot them out every chance I get, but this is lengthy already. I don’t want you to “blue screen” on me. You know, when your Windows computer goes blank with the Blue Screen of Death? (switch to Mac already!) Or for those less techie, when your teenager’s eyes glaze over and you know that not a word is landing where you want it to – in the action part of the brain?!

RED FLAG TEST:

“The degree of stress you feel about finances is directly proportional to the amount of confidence you have in your system.“ Dan McMahon – (my trading coach)

Whenever I feel stress or worry about money, investments or trading, I know I have a flaw in my system or in my knowledge. Stress is a fabulous red flag to look for the flaw before it inflicts severe damage. Don’t bleach the flag! It’s red for a reason. You bleach it by ignoring the problem, denying the stress, avoiding the stress, handing over your choice to someone else. Bleach the flag long enough, and it becomes the white flag of surrender. You have lost your power. Don’t do it! Take back control and start the journey through the Labyrinth maze of financial self reliance today. And if you have a ”bad $ advisor story“ please share in the comments.

That’s too much about Lisa for today. Bye for now.

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In Part 1 I was motivated to make some meaning over the tragedy of a life lost. Too many of us wait until we are forced to take control of our finances after a loss. But wouldn’t it be better to be proactive? Make a decision to be prepared before the outside force arrives. Force is a funny master. It comes in many forms, but it always arrives.

I often encounter resistance from women when I begin to talk about financial self reliance. I am passionate about my position that every woman needs to be in charge of her financial destiny. So let’s get to it.

#1 Excuse: “My husband takes care of that”

If you are a guy reading this and committing the same “money sexism” by saying “My wife takes care of it” then you should get real. But there are sooo many sites devoted to the markets geared toward men. So back to my exclusionary style.

Do I even need to debunk this with the statistics? No. It’s just plain foolish to not know what is happening with the gold when it’s the gold that dictates how interesting of an environment you will inhabit in the present, but especially the future.

Please, don’t be the woman living off a social insecurity check trying to make ends meet because her husband did a lousy job of planning for her longer lifespan! Consider Bernie Madoff’s wife who lived a life of absolute luxury for over 10 years before she found out it was all a scam. Now the federal officials have all the assets frozen.

Are you willing to put your fate in the hands of another?

Do you love your husband? Imagine the resentment and ire that will creep in if his financial decisions end up causing you to have to cut your standard of living in half to survive. I’m not guaranteeing that you will fare any better, but at least you won’t be able to get into the blame trap. You will know you did your best and be able to share in the responsibility of the success. Also imagine the stress of having to make all the financial decisions alone. You have a vested interest in the outcome, make sure you know what is happening – win or lose.

Expect more of yourself. Your choice, the only guaranteed freedom, is what will determine your future. You decide, and therefore have no complaints.

#2 Excuse: “I’m not good with numbers, I’ll never be able to do what you do, Lisa”

Darling, I have a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in Interior Design, not an MBA. There is nothing more difficult than add, subtract, multiply and divide in the math category. The biggest problem is the information overload available about finances in magazines, newspapers, blogs, charts, graphs, brokers, newsletters, television, and gurus. Your hardest task will be in applying fewer rules, limiting the information into your psyche and sticking to a plan, budget and strategy.

It takes mental discipline to achieve financial self reliance. It’s all about you! Do you believe in yourself? I will be the last one to tell you it’s going to be easy. It got really serious about financial self reliance about 10 years ago. The key is to start, but take action and don’t quit – ever. That is discipline.

My father was a commercial airline pilot for PanAm. I remember talking with him about his job, and the difficulties. He would often come home after a trip to Tokyo, Japan or Sydney, Australia and need to sleep during the day. He had to deal with disorderly passengers, snow at JFK airport, corporate politics, union dissent, potential layoffs in downturns, corporate restructures that delayed his making Captain of the 747 by at least 5 years, and he was often stressed out about the state of affairs at PanAm (which if you don’t know eventually went bankrupt). I asked him once why he did it. He answered, “Lisa, 80% of my job isn’t fun, but I do it all for the take offs and landings.” He never wanted to do anything else but be a pilot.

That has come to my mind often when I don’t want to do something I know must be done in order to do what I want to do. My Dad loved to fly, and would go through all the stress just to get to sit in the left seat as captain of a 747. It was still a thrill for him after 25 years of flying.

Find that thing that gives you an absolute thrill in life, and more than likely it will take money. Now remember that learning about the keys to financial self reliance and following it up with action is the 80% you MUST do so you can have “the takeoffs and landings”.

Well, that’s enough about Lisa for today. Stay tuned for Part 3 and the biggest excuse of all!

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Talked with my best friend from childhood today. Lisa and I have been friends since the age of 4. We both have a milestone birthday coming in May, and I asked how she was coping. (I wasn’t coping well – AT ALL) She told me that she hadn’t really thought about it. Her life was full, and she was thankful. I was a impressed, to say the least. She continued, “I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but our family has experienced a terrible tragedy.”

Killed by a Drunk Driver at the age of 41

Her brother in law was killed by a drunk driver at the age of 41 two months back, and the family has been spending their time grieving, funeral arrangements, managing insurance claims, and paperwork galore. Her sister in law is now a widowed mother of three children, 3, 8 and 10. Her husband was an amazing father, provider and husband. My friend told me, “He did everything for the family, and made all the decisions. She took care of the kids, but she is lost without him.”

Wake up call for me and my petty whining about getting older. Superficial updates were out the window, and we had an amazing discussion about meaning and self reliance.

Can a husband be too good?

This widow now finds herself alone and in charge of everything. She has no idea what to do. She is grieving and now must face all the financial decisions of carrying on in the face of great loss. There is power to be gained from tackling a new task. She can be so proud to know that her husband loved her and their life together had an order and division of labor that worked for them. But my question is, did her husband do too much for her to her detriment?

Delegating the duties in a marriage or partnership relationship makes sense. We can’t do it all. I don’t take out the trash or touch ANYTHING in the yard. The activity of dragging the trash cans to the curb is within my ability, I could do it, but don’t. Forced to do so, I wouldn’t experience any fear or stress about the task. Perhaps some annoyance, but not fear.

Fear or stress ensue from a lack of experience or confidence in your ability to handle a situation.

Could you handle your finances without stress at a moments notice?

Do you have the skill to handle all of your personal finances? Can you choose an investment you feel confident will produce a good rate of return? Do you know how to calculate a rate of return? Do you know what a rate of return is? Can you pick up at a moments notice and take over if forced? If you can’t answer yes, then you have work to do, darling.

Well that’s too much about Lisa for now. Stay tuned for Part 2

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I have been recommending Audible to anyone who will listen to me. I have loaded the ipod for my friends, bought gift cards, offered computer lessons, and done all manner of proselytizing to get my loved ones to listen to more books. I don’t much care what books they pick, but I find it so freeing and life changing to have Audible that it makes me preach. And so I thought I would share just a small fraction of the reasons I have come up with for why I love Audible with one tacky nod to Shakespeare I begin:

Oh, Audible. How do I love thee, let me count the ways.

• If the book sucks, no bother. I listened to it while cleaning, driving, exercising, or other mundane tasks that had to be done. I accomplished exactly what I needed to in that moment. I didn’t devote precious reading time alone to a crappy book.

• It makes me less judgmental and more willing to risk listening to a book. Knowing I will be able to multitask while listening to E=MC2 is the only reason I downloaded the history of the science equation. It was great, and supplied me with months of inane science facts that serve me to this day.
• Who has the time? Some of my friends in my book club find it difficult to read our one book in a month. These are all dedicated, lovers of books. I have a well known addiction to Audible and can usually find the extra time to “read”/listen to as many as 5 books a month. This volume of reading makes me an insufferable nightmare of useless knowledge that changes constantly, but it hasn’t stopped me.
• I am a legacy member of Audible from September of 2001 and as such have a plan that allows me 5 books per month. I went to cancel it once, and the customer rep told me I was crazy. “No one can get this plan anymore, and if you cancel you’ll lose it.” He offered a 3 month break at which time it would restart, and I have been loving the resource ever since. Even though you can’t get the legacy plan with 5/month, most don’t find themselves envious of my plan. There are plenty of good deals and plans to keep the less addicted satisfied.
• Listening to Scott Brick read anything is like eating a Cold Stone MudPie Mojo in the Love It size. Heavenly! His voice is absolutely made for thrillers, and even better when he’s telling me the piles in my office are actually a sign of intelligence in “A Perfect Mess: The Hidden Benefits of Disorder”

        -        Parents – Are you trying to get your kids to read more? Audible on their iPod or iTouch is fabulous. My son listens to books while he does his math homework, and so far this year has “read” Inkheart, Inkspell, 3 Cups of Tea and Freakonomics. What 13 year old reads a book about economics? And that is 4 books in addition to his reading assignment for school (I don’t let him listen to the book for the Accelerated Reading Goal. There is a difference to listening and reading the words from the teacher’s standpoint). I haven’t hooked my 8 year old yet, but give me time. I’m quite the influencer, and a benevolent dictator. I see book reports in her future. HooHAHAHa.

        -        Have you ever wanted to read a book that seems a bit embarrassing? You know, like “He dumped me, now what.” or “How to talk to your pets”. Who wants to advertise to your seatmates on the plane you’re reading and allow them to engage you in small talk unnecessarily? With Audible I can listen to that book, shut our my seatmates, and dampen the jet noise all at the same time with my Bose Quiet Comfort 3 headphones.

        -        Vocabulary and Pronunciation: When listening to a complex book with foreign phrases, all the pronunciation is done for you. You learn the way it’s supposed to be pronounced and at the end of the book I feel much more educated or not. At the least, I can get through all the French names and places in The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas without stumbling through the lines. Completely enjoyed that 56 hours or so of a book during my commute.

        -        Not for everyone, BUT if you are borderline ADD and can’t stand to listen to books on audio because they seem to read to you at a snails pace, then here’s just the trick. Get an iPhone (I think everyone should convert – quite the fanatic on this one too) or an iPod will do. Then adjust the reading speed to 2X on the iPhone or “Faster” on the ipod. I admit that at first putting the iPhone audiobook playback at 2X brought back reminders of mickey mouse, but your brain will adjust. Now you can listen to books in half the time, while multi-tasking. What is that, a quadruple in productivity? Well, probably not, but listening to audible on my laptop is now out of the question. It sounds like someone over annunciating their words for a child. I have to put it thru the iPhone on double or forget it.

        -        In the Author’s own voice. This one is a two edged sword. I loved the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Trilogy that was 5 books read by Douglas Adams. There’s something magical about his British accent, and deadpan, sarcastic delivery of some of the adventures that just makes the whole experience a joy. The other side of this is something like “Stones From The River” by Ursula Hegi. I couldn’t finish it. It was for book club, and her monotone delivery was just too depressing. There are times when the author should step aside and let Scott Brick do the reading.

        -        The stock got crushed when it was publicly trade. I saw it down at $9.00 and figured that since I was such a fan, I just had to by a little. It went down even more, but then about 3 months later, Amazon.com bought them out at $13.00. Cool. Made enough for a few more years of service! Love them.

I strive to find the easiest (or laziest) way to accomplish anything I want to do. Audible.com does this. Get it.

Lisa

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